DOSE THEM ALL WITH HITS OF MOLLY!
To the tune of Deck the Halls.
Dose them all with hits of molly!
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly!
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don we now our gaaaaaay apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
I sense the thoughts of Cousin Carol,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
See the blazing queens before us!
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Slap my ass and join the chorus!
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Follow me in merry measure,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
While I tell of group-grope pleasure!
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Fast away the old man passes!
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Hail the new, ye lads and lasses!
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Dance we joyous, to the backbeat!
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Spirit soars, and drugs are so neat!
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
FA LA LA LA LA, LA LA, LA LA.
Jingle Balls Cock
To the tune of Jingle Bells Rock
Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls Jingle Balls Cock
Jingle Balls Stunt and Jingle Bells Cunt
Blowing and Gagging and Rivers of Cum
Now the jingle-ball hop’s begun.
(Chorus)
What a bright time, it’s the right time
To smack them balls away!
Jingle balls’ time, it’s a sex crime!
To go fisting in a one-horse sleigh!
Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls Cock.
Jingle Balls Chime and Jingle Balls Rhyme!
Twisting and Turning a Jingle-Ball Pair!
In your derriere!
(Chorus)
What a bright time, it’s the right time
To smack them balls away!
Jingle-balls’ time, it’s a sex crime!
To go fisting in a one-horse sleigh!
Giddy-up, jingle balls, pick up the beat,
Jingle around my cock!
Mix and a-mingle in the jingling fleet . . .
That’s the jingle balls,
That’s the jingle balls,
That’s the jingle balls’ cock!
Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful (Bukkake Christmas)
To the tune of, well, Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful.
Oh! Come! All ye faithful! Joyful and triumphant!
Oh, come ye! Oh, come ye! Bukkake Christmas!
Come and join thousands! Pour it out on Jesus!
Oh, come let us adorn Him!
Oh, come let us adorn Him!
Oh, come let us adorn Him!
Christ of the load!
Three Verses for New, Terrible Silent Nights
To the tune of Silent Night.
Horrible Night, Cannibal Night!
Horrible Night, Cannibal Night!
All is calm, no more fight.
Ground young virgin, mother and child.
Roasted infant so tender and mild.
Eat in heavenly peace!
Eat in heavenly peace!
Russian night! Drinking all night!
Russian night! Drinking all night!
Son of Bitch, mouth not keep tight.
Radiant beams from my fist to your face
Break your legs until you need brace.
Almost nothing, you’re worth.
Five stinking rubles, you’re worth.
Pestilent night, Ebola night!
Pestilent night, Ebola night!
Nations quake, at the blight!
Bloody stools from Africa!
Bodily hosts leak plasma.
Christ, this dude is gooeeeeeeyyyy!
Christ, this dude is goooeeeeey!
WE THREE DRUNKS OF ANTIGUA ARE . . .
To the tune of We Three Kings of Orient Are . . .
We three drunks from Antigua are,
Spending Christmas Eve in this bar,
Choices Risky, Wine and Whisky!
And that’s only so far.
Oh! Booze of Wonder, Booze of Night!
Booze with Guapas Lindas Bright!
Westward falling, Eastward crawling!
Guide us past XL Light.
Born a King on Antigua’s Plain!
Cuervo I bring to Crown Him Again!
His mom’s a looker; he’ll marry a hooker!
No wonder his dad snorts ‘cane!
Oh! Booze of Wonder, Booze of Night!
Booze with Guapas Lindas Bright!
Westward falling, Eastward crawling!
Guide us past XL Light.
Jell-O shots to offer have I.
Frat-Party Favors and ruffies are nigh!
Give some to Mary, Joe’s not so scary!
I hope the drummer boy is Bi!
Oh! Booze of Wonder, Booze of Night!
Booze with Guapas Lindas Bright!
Westward falling, Eastward crawling!
Guide us past XL Light.
Mezcal’s mine: its sweetest perfume.
Breathes fresh life to gathering gloom.
Hoffman’s catching, Adam’s felching
Lord, they should get a room!
Oh! Booze of Wonder, Booze of Night!
Booze with Guapas Lindas Bright!
Westward falling, Eastward crawling!
Guide us past XL Light.
Glorious now, watch Pablo arise,
His lives in Oaxaca, what sacrifice!
Alleluia, what’s it too, ya?
He bears Joven and ain’t that nice!
Oh! Booze of Wonder, Booze of Night!
Booze with Guapas Lindas Bright!
Westward falling, Eastward crawling!
Guide us past XL Light.
Oh! Guide us past XL Light.