Brothers and sisters, here’s a new bit of true beauty by our comrade-in-booze Matthew Grimm. If you’ve ever wanted to donkeypunch your television when some right-wing gasbag is “speaking to the heartland” or condemning “San Francisco values,” then this song is for you.
Fuck. Yeah.
Lyrics and video below.
Real Americans
As the days get colder and the weekend rolls around
And big lights make halos at edges of towns
And cars line the streets as the sun goes down
And the faithful all take their pew
And they wear the same colors and cheer the same things
Share blankets, hot chocolate, and gossip like teens
They’re Republicans, Democrats, some even Greens
And they love their kids every damn bit much as you
chorus
Real Americans don’t share your values, they’re way more than able to live by their own
Real Americans don’t worship Jesus, they worship who and whatever they want to, or don’t
They’re dumb and profound, gay and straight, pink and brown, and, like anyone, cut em they bleed
And most don’t waste half a drop sweating what self-described Real Americans think they should be
It’s a fool’s prayer that asks for forever-blue skies
Some time’s it’s a storm, sometimes someone dies
And phone calls breed phone calls and potluck and pies
And if you need it, someone’s got room.
They don’t ask for your papers or voter ID
It’s from each of his haves to each of his needs.
In small towns, in cities, all colors, all creeds
And mostly it’s just kind of what people do
chorus
Real Americans don’t share your values, they’re way more than able to live by their own
Real Americans don’t worship Jesus, they worship who and whatever they want to, or don’t
Conformists and weirdos and losers and heroes, as good or as bad as their deeds
And most don’t waste half a drop sweating what self-described Real Americans think they should be