Forget God’s six day building binge. This is one hell of a feat, seeing as Noah had no subcontractors and had to build the Ark out of something called gopher wood.
When I come across things like this, I’m reminded of the great comedian, Bill Hicks, who once said, “Did you ever notice that people who believe in creation look so… un-evolved?”
Returning to my dream of Jerry Falwell, down on the carpet, heart in hand, I find I have to smile.
At the end of the day – not, mind you, The End of Days – fundamentalists defeat themselves. Eventually fanatics stop burning witches or ramming airplanes into buildings full of human beings, but maybe we can together encourage that cultural evolution.
Here’s the Jolly Bartender’s plan:
As we are constantly reminded, we live in the Digital Age. Within a few hundred years, paper will go the way of the dinosaurs – Biblically interpreted or otherwise. It will be an extinct form of communication, and we’ll get our information via some assuredly dystopian descendant of an illicit union between Wikipedia and the Matrix franchise. All information will be on line… So here is my challenge to nascent, and thoughtful, bloggers:
Hack the Bible.
Everywhere where we find words of finality and surety, introduce this one phrase: “… or maybe not.”
God created man in his own image… or maybe not.
God created man on the sixth day… or maybe not.
Eat of the tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil and you shall surely die… or maybe not.
Jerry Falwell might accuse me of siding with the snake on this account. But that’s alright. He’s getting his comeuppance as we speak… or maybe not.